«« current archive links wishlist writings guestbook profile host »»
Jesus Christ
It's finally time that I admit this to myself: after four years of knowing you, I suddenly don't anymore.
That's a lie; it's been like this for the past several months. And right now is probably the lowest point that it's taken me.

I'm always fixing things in my head: trying to make you laugh, trying to be clever, trying to be happy. I think about you more than I should. And when I finally find that right moment to let go, you find yourself back into my home.

This year has been a bad year. There is no balance between the ups and downs. And when it's down- when I'm down, it's pretty damn right pitiful.

Still, I've done a lot of wishing: wishing that things will pick up again, wishing that you will like me again, wishing that things were the way they used to be.. You seem bored of me. I don't know how else to explain it.

Sometimes, I also wish that you'd at least give me a gentle sign to let me know that it's time to forget about you and move on.
10.13.2009.tuesday