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It's my secret now.
I don't get it; what I did maybe wasn't what I had planned but it happened. But that doesn't make me a bad person.

I'm not going to turn a 'dumb moment' into a regret. I'm not going to feel bad about it and allow people to make me feel bad about it. It just sucks that even my friends seem to disappoint me and unsupportive. It is certainly not theirs to share and exploit.

I do get the seriousness of the situation. I know that it was meant to be special and to a certain extent it is. It's forever now. Thus, it's not worth being down about it.

I don't know what else to say. I can try to make people understand why I laughed about it and why I don't feel horrible but the truth is: it is my story to laugh about and to choose whether or not it was 'dumb'.

I guess, it's my secret now.
03.22.2006.wednesday